If Your Kids Are Terrible 2, For Treacherous 3s, Better Up Your Liquor Game

I am a dad of two and a half year-old twins. My kids are great. They’re super kewt, smart, and well, they’re my kids, so I love them.

But this Terrible 2 thing is giving me gray hair. Every time I mention the Terrible 2s to a parent, without fail, their reply is something like, “Oh you ain’t seen nothing yet. Wait ’till they turn three; it gets worse!”

In my mind I’m like, seriously?! OMG! What the hell am I gonna do?!

I posted the following comment on Facebook and the hilarity that ensued in the comments inspired this post:

 

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If you’re a parent of young kids you’ll shake your head at the comments. And if your kids are older, you will laugh and be glad the Terrible 2s and Treacherous 3s are past. Although, if what the commenters say about teenagers is true, and you have teenagers, you might not be laughing, you’ll probably just be shaking your head.

 

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Here’s where things really get cooking:

 

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You know it’s bad when Grandma is looking at you cross-eyed ’cause your kids are “wildin’ out.”

 

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I think BOTH my wife and I will be the “mean parent.”

 

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Thank God for my jacuzzi bath tub. It rescued me the last two nights after putting the twins down. If not for it, I was headed to the back yard to choke a squirrel!

 

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In this next segment, Pauline is brilliant, as always:

 

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Pauline’s “deadpan” riff kills me! See the Laphroaig pic, below, to make sense of the genius scotch glass she received.

 

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Get to upping. Ha!

 

This one was my fave though:

 

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A picture of a scotch bottle. Genius!

 

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Nostalgia? Seriously?

 

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This one is pretty good, too. Love the opening “shivers” comment:

 

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Someone should make a line of t-shirts as Kirsten suggested. Gonna hit up my buddy, Sean, over at the PopLyfe Shop to see if he’ll take on a new, snarky line of parent survival t-shirts!

 

And finally, this:

 

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#Threenager. Oh, I’m so stealing that one!

 

P.S., I’m writing this post at 7am while making breakfast for the twins. #TwinDadLife

 

P.P.S., In the spirit of “upping” MY liquor game, I’m gonna head to my local watering hole store and pick up a bottle of one of each of these. Yep, this is a shameless plug for my buddy Simon Ford’s award-winning line of spirits. Simon is a dadpreneur, too, and I interviewed him here. And supporting parent entrepreneurs is what I LOVE to do.

 

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Happy liquor game upping!

Feature image credit: brett jordan Remix (lock)

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